Finally, it was a little confusing as to where one's boundaries end and where dictating another's behaviour begins. Some of the suggestions Tawwab gave were things like stating that someone can only have three drinks. There was no context to this and also, you cannot dictate someone else's behaviour. I was confused as to whether I should head this advice or not before deciding to disregard it completely. If you want the most comprehensive, relevant, and relatable guide to setting boundaries, speaking your needs, and living a more peaceful life, Nedra Tawwab’s book on boundaries is for you.” Set Boundaries, Find Peace direkomendasikan @thebibliothetic . Katanya, aku bakal suka. Pada saat yang bersamaan, aku jg tengah menggemari topik membahas relasi (romantis) manusia. (Because I'm 1000% manifesting my current lovey-dovey partnership and I want this to work 🥺.) I mean… that’s how her day is going. If you didn’t want to know, why did you ask? So everyone has to understand these unspoken (American) social rules? (This example is a little ridiculous but I hate the forced "how are you"s Americans ask to everyone when they clearly don't care)

Set Boundaries, Find Peace - Nedra Glover Tawwab - Mind Tools Set Boundaries, Find Peace - Nedra Glover Tawwab - Mind Tools

Aku bersyukur "didoktrin" oleh ayah & mamaku kalau sudah berada pada usia legal (17 tahun) berarti sudah bertanggung jawab atas hidupku sendiri. They are not trying to drive my life. Aku pun berkomunikasi dengan mereka bisa cuma sebatas FYI. Contohnya bilang, "Mam, aku pindah kerja." Yes, because no one on Earth is forced to live and interact with their abusive parents or spouse or other relative because they can’t afford not to. The book on boundaries we’ve all been waiting for!NedraTawwab offers clarity and direction with grace and compassion on a topic often discussed but rarely integrated. If you’re ready to live in alignment and shift your relationship with self and others, Set Boundaries, Find Peaceis your next must read.” Reading about boundaries with work and social media affected me more personally. I'm glad Glover Tawwab can't hear reader as they go... She missed a lot of me calling myself out for regular complaints I make yet have not done anything about. I'm also thankful the author's prose is never judgmental; her words inform but do not presume universal application. I also found it strange that nearly all of her examples of boundaries are telling what the other person should do. I'm going to share these in Tawwab's favorite format: a list.It becomes very clear that such negotiations happen and discussions on boundaries should happen in these areas once you take into account the lived realities of many people in very different situations. Someone who is disempowered by systemic issues will have to make these concessions daily. Apparently service workers have to be perfect and nice and friendly all the time and having a bad day is a violation of customers' boundaries. One hundred and fifty MILLION adults in this country living in precarious financial situations is NOT an issue with individual boundaries, Nedra. IT IS SYSTEMIC.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library

Karena pondasi itu pula, aku terbiasa mengatakan "tidak" & menyampaikan batasanku kepada kolega. Menolak pekerjaan yg melawan "moral compass" hingga menyatakan kalau nggak bisa "diganggu" di luar jam kerja memang terkesan arogan kalau nggak tahu cara menyampaikannya. Tapi, kalau kita nggak belajar buat "saying in the right tone", ya orang lain akan merasa bebas "to violate our boundaries."There were also some examples that weren't egregious but were still telling people what to do. Tawwab says herself to state things with "I first" language, and I guess that only extends to the first word of the sentence lol. But I feel like there are ways to state your need without telling someone exactly what to do to meet that need. Like instead of saying "you can only drink three drinks," say "I want both of us to spend time together fully aware and in the moment" or "I don’t like hanging out with you when you are drunk." Yes, this leaves how to meet the boundary up to interpretation but shouldn't boundaries be a discussion about how two people can meet each other's needs? I feel like it should be a conversation, but Tawwab clearly feels that you should state your needs, not explain yourself, and deal with the fallout, which just seems so miserable to me. Buku ini bagus. Aku sudah suka sejak bagian kata pengantar. Setiap babnya terdiri dari studi kasus, penjelasan, hingga latihan yg bisa dilakukan agar tidak jadi "yes man" terus. Set Boundaries, Find Peace’ should be a required reading before we reach adulthood! Whether it’s through family or social conditioning, the vast majority of us have incorporated poor boundaries into some or all areas of our lives. The cost for us not having healthy boundaries is great! This book will help.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

This is the boundary bible. Nedra teaches us not only how to set healthy boundaries but to be clear about our feelings and intentions. Finding peace requires showing up—Nedra has written the blueprint on how to not only show up but also do the work.” Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own. Another example where this was not considered. A given example of a micro breach was when a cashier started bagging someone's groceries in an aggressive way. While I agree that mishandling of one's possessions is a breach of boundaries, it was a really oddly specific example, and it is not mindful of the fact that often it is service staff whose boundaries get breached everyday by the sheer fact that they are not the ones in a position of power in this interaction. I follow Nedra Tawwab on ig and generally found her posts around boundaries helpful to aid daily reflections, as someone who is actively working on my boundaries. I understand that she is a licensed social worker but primarily has qualifications and experience in therapy, so I was looking forward to more of her writing and insights.

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Tawwab debuts with a comprehensive guide on how to understand and establish interpersonal boundaries….She identifies six types of boundaries—physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, and time—and dispenses tips on how to uphold personal limits….Readers who follow Tawwab on social media and those who find setting boundaries especially difficult will appreciate the advice.” This book is clearly written for a very small subset of the population who are neurotypical, able-bodied, and financially well off who only interact with other neurotypical, able-bodied, and financially well off people. And while this book may even give some good advice to people like this, I cannot in good conscience recommend it because of the clearly individualistic and ignorant views the author so clearly holds and advocates for. Without healthy boundaries, we aren’t able to fully live the life we want to live. This empowering book provides a powerful road map for establishing expectations and personal limits so that you can live your life with the safety, respect, and self-actualization that you deserve.” Her insights, I realise however, may be best given as a therapist, where she would work with each person's individual needs in depth and length, or as an ig influencer, where her soundbites can resonate with more people. Somehow, they do not translate well into a book, where to write one, one would need nuance, clear writing, deeper exploration of a topic, and consideration of a larger audience with different expectations.