The Best Ever Book of West Ham United Jokes

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Brazil 'could face a points DEDUCTION in World Cup qualifying or be forced to play in an empty stadium' with FIFA 'set to open investigation' Look, there will always be reasons why teams prioritise certain fixtures and I don’t think that can be avoided. It can even be argued that sometimes a few reserves anxious to impress might present a bigger challenge than first-team players who do not see, for instance, a cup tie against lower-league opposition as greatly inspiring. The difference here is the incentive for whoever is selected to play in a more restrained manner. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

Cristiano Ronaldo and Bernardo Silva are left less than impressed by Bruno Fernandes' half-time tactics talk for Portugal... as duo offer HILARIOUS reaction I've analysed the Manchester City team and they pose no real threat. West Ham to win comfortably this evening. West Ham will suffer if they go into the Europa League. Swansea City last season and Everton this season are prime examples of why that competition is nothing but a distraction. Even top-six sides struggle with the fixture timetable. Premier League status is imperative and must be placed as a priority above all. West Ham’s squad is nowhere close to being able to cope with Europe, they couldn’t even handle an FA Cup run and league form has gone since once the injuries hit. The Europa League is an impossible task given that Champions League failures gain access at the mid-point, and little priority is given to teams having to play two days before a Premier League weekend. While the West Ham hierarchy might see Europe as a feather in the cap, they need to take the blinkers off. Key players in the squad are struggling to walk and running into Europe is the last thing we need. Hammertime, Australia. Boxing's A Team! Ed Sheeran sits ringside forKatie Taylor's rematch with Chantelle Cameron in DublinManagers, mainly. Benitez was the exception at Chelsea. He has always known the worth of a European trophy. REVEALED: Pep Guardiola crowned football's most influential manager above Jurgen Klopp ahead of Man City's match against Liverpool West Ham suffered their heaviest ever home FA Cup defeat on Friday night, losing 0-5 to Manchester City at the London Stadium in the third round of this season’s competition – and these were the best jokes. FA absolutely right to investigate West Ham after tonight's ugly scenes. Ben Shephard and Bianca Westwood? Disgusting. FA to probe 'unsavoury incidents this evening' at West Ham. No mention if playing Chesney Hawkes is one of them.

Or Arsenal might be able to put it about a little more than some of their most precious supporters imagine. Napoli, Sevilla, Fiorentina and Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, the four Europa League semi-finalists, are all top five in their respective leagues. Maybe the English teams are just not good enough or don't put in the effort. HENRY0007, Barcelona. IAN LADYMAN: It hurts after a harsh late penalty call earned PSG a 1-1 draw... but Newcastle are still alive in the group of death and are beginning to feel like they belong on the biggest stage Tottenham hit with crushing blow as Rodrigo Bentancur faces TWO MONTHS on the sidelines with ankle ligament damage caused by Matty Cash's lunge... having only recently recovered from a serious knee injury Second,” he says, “she must be deaf — so that even if I should cry out in my passion, she will not be able to recognise my voice.”Tyrone Mings sparks retirement fears with Aston Villa fans following a cryptic post in which he insists he 'will share an update today' The associations rated highest in each of the categories will be awarded prize money to donate to amateur or professional clubs of their choice within the association, to be used for fair play or respect-themed projects. The amount of prize money will be decided by the UEFA Fair Play and Social Responsibility Committee. I didn’t forget, it isn’t relevant. In an extensive league format, some games will always have more meaning than others at the end of the season, and that is unavoidable. The prize money does its bit to keep everyone honest, as should personal pride. Tottenham lead Premier League tributes for Terry Venables after their former manager, who won the FA Cup with Spurs in 1991 and led England at Euro '96 The east Londoners' attempts to woo players embarrassingly out of their league are often like watching a tanked-up moron try to cop off with a Miss World, and almost inevitably end up with them going home accompanied by a curb-crawler they've paid way over the odds for instead.

Supporters are unhappy with the team’s recent performances and still harbour considerable doubts regarding the stadium move from Upton Park. Aaron Ramsdale howler almost hands Brentford an early lead as the Arsenal stopper gets his feet all wrong minutes into rare start Celtic left to rue missed chances as they crash OUT of Europe after 2-0 defeat at Lazio... with sub Ciro Immobile scoring late brace to send Maurizio Sarri's side through to Champions League last-16Fans are left baffled as Lionel Messi's bodyguardYassine Chueko seemingly appears out of thin air in video as he prepares to meet young fans West Ham would go down if we played in the Europa League. Look how we folded in the second half of the season. The added games would be a serious problem. Hogarth, United Kingdom. That's a nice ham you got there. It'd be a shame if someone put an "s" before it and an "e" after it. Hamilton is banned from heading to the casinos ahead of the Las Vegas Grand Prix... with Mercedes boss Wolff urging his team to stay focused Former Wimbledon finalist David Nalbandian 'confesses to filming his model ex-girlfriend when she was naked with secret camera at their flat'

Chelsea a long 8/1 to sign Victor Osimhen despite London club reportedly making the disgruntled Napoli striker their primary target I understand your point about the Fair Play qualification this year. But it's the last season of it. From 2016-17, it's been scrapped. Mrg, Maidstone. Brazil vs Argentina timeline: How one of world football's fiercest rivalries descended into chaos with fighting between fans and police Wayne Rooney's son ALREADY has Puma contract, and Cristiano Ronaldo Jnr is a mini-me... TEN ex-Premier League stars with sons to watch out for

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Watching the West Ham fans faces watching this band playing out their last game at their stadium is the best thing I've seen all season What, like the special favour that allowed Mascherano to play for Liverpool in the 2006-07 season, even though it was his third club in a year, which is against FIFA rules? A special favour like that, you mean? The Fair Play qualification is not a favour. It is a legitimate entry to a competition but one that is poorly conceived. That really isn’t West Ham’s fault. Man City should be TERRIFIED!': Fans call for Pep Guardiola's men to be punished after being hit with 115 charges following Everton's punishment Harry Kane reveals the best defender he's ever faced, the Germany star he wished played for England and why Eric Dier is the worst team-mate to sit by on a flight