I didn’t understand how God would have created such a beautiful, intimate experience only to be enjoyed by the male half of married couples. I was also having such a hard time with the submission and subservience message that I was taught at church growing up. Increase lifespan. Through its health-improving benefits, a good sex life can add years to your life. Wondering how to be better in bed? While there is no one definition of what “ good sex” looks like, there are a number of tips that may improve the enjoyment of your sex life. So, introduce sexy acts into your everyday life. Whether that’s taking selfies or wearing lacy underwear, Bryan says, it’s essential that you see yourself as sexual. DiFrancesco, S. and R.L. Teneglia. “Mediterranean Diet and Erectile Dysfunction: A Current Perspective,” Central European Journal of Urology (2017) 70:185.

Hurlbert, D.F. and K.E. Whittaker. “The Role of Masturbation in Marital and Sexual Satisfaction: A Comparative Study of Female Masturbators and Non-Masturbators,” Journal of Sex Research (2009) 46:558. And Cosmopolitan, in partnership with Men’s Health, has partnered with UK schools to improve sex ed offerings.Another way to explore this problem of disconnect is for the man to take the 30-day challenge where he does not ejaculate. During penetrative sex, he slows down, focusing on how the woman responds. Your partner will gain a better understanding of what creates greater levels of arousal.” Muise, A. et al. “Post-Sex Affectionate Exchanges Promote Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2014) 43:1391. Love and appreciate your older self. Naturally, your body is going through changes as you age. You look and feel differently than you did when you were younger. But if you can accept these changes as natural and hold your head up high, you'll not only feel better, you'll also be more attractive to others. Confidence and honesty garner the respect of others—and can be sexy and appealing. Good sex as you age is safe sex as you age Before you put anything inside a vagina, it's important that you're fully, properly aroused. When you're aroused, the vagina expands and gets wet while the genital tissue becomes engorged with blood. This helps intercourse and penetration feel good rather than painful or uncomfortable. Be sure you're giving adequate time and attention to the clitoris. If possible, have an orgasm before penetration. Women and female-bodied people have orgasms most reliably through oral sex or with a sex toy. Make your pleasure a priority. 7. Expand Your Vocabulary What sounds rote and dreary can actually be dreamy, says Michael Castleman, who recommends the strategy especially to couples in long-term relationships, who’ve passed the can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other phase.

Reap the benefits of experience. The independence and self-confidence that comes with age can be very attractive to your spouse or potential partners. No matter your gender, you may feel better about your body at 62 or 72 than you did at 22. And it is likely that you now know more about yourself and what makes you excited and happy. Your experience and self-possession can make your sex life exciting for you and your partner. Without accurate information and an open mind, a temporary situation can turn into a permanent one. You can avoid letting this happen by being proactive. Whether you're seeking to restart or improve your sex life, it's important to be ready to try new things, and to ask for professional help if necessary. There is much you can do to compensate for the normal changes that come with aging. With proper information and support, your later years can be an exciting time to explore both the emotional and sensual aspects of your sexuality. Benefits of sex as you age As most of you know, on March 15 I have two books launching–The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, which I wrote with my husband, and a completely revised Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, which will be 10 years old this March. I never originally planned to write a book about sex.The sex ed I had made sex into something that was merely physical, about climax. That put so much pressure on both of us, and then when sex hurt me, it seemed like everything was crashing down. Reading this now (well actually listening via Audiobook), and while you have made the case that sex is mutual (which once upon a time I thought too!), you’ve also alluded to what I would still term “obligation”….. but maybe that’s just because I fell hook, line, sinker into believing sex was just for men, every three days, man’s need, etc. etc. that I just don’t know what healthy looks like anymore?!? I can’t remember the wording, but what I heard was that you should want to take care of the others “desire/ burn”…. You get to be that person……. As I mentioned, it was something along those lines and when I hear that guilt ensues because that still feels like I’m only there to “take care of his “need””. If my body is feeling tense, but we’ve not connected what do ever during the day…. To be like “hey, let’s do it” feels like I’m using my SO. And vice versa, if roles reversed. If any health issues come up for either partner, why not embark on a diet and fitness plan together? Teaming up like this and spending more time together will have the benefit of increasing intimacy and lifting mood.