I just turned 60 and while I have always been concerned with being “outed” by someone, was fortunate to never have it happen. I have had many girlfriends and enjoy their strap-ones very much and the “ladies nights” we have had. Can you tell that I can't take my eyes off him as I write? The only trouble is, tomorrow I won't get to take much dictation, so I won't get to see him much. But tomorrow I'll be reaching into my closet for another sexy, short dress. And maybe I can go into his office for lunch. And maybe he'll take the hint that there's nothing I want more in life than for him to put his arms around me and kiss me. The party (= orgy) which I organized to celebrate my return to Monte Carlo went on for the whole weekend! My decadent guests and I were able to indulge in several changes of costume, in between the various lewd and licentious activities that took place. Here I am captured wearing one of my alternative “Marie Antoinette” costumes. And I can report that males on the Riviera are just as fascinated by bustles and crinolines as men seem to be everywhere else!

I was involved in yet another radio debate the other day with that self-appointed guardian of our public morals, Lord Trembath – leader of the so-called Moral Renaissance Movement. Part of our discussion went like this: Yesterday he caught me standing there like a fool with my skirt caught in the door, chewing out a bunch of men who wouldn't help me. This is my chance to show him another side of me. And a lot more of me.I shave my legs more than my wife and wear nude or light tan pantyhose everywhere. I now have nylon shorts, nylon pants (which I love to wear sheer hose under). I even love swimming in nylons. I would never wear a dress or high heel shoes, but this attraction to men’s pantyhose has me questioning myself because wearing them feels so good. I know it is not considered “normal” (at least not in most circles) by society-at-large. After that day, we went out together many times to various places so that I get used to being in public and after a few days I was completely comfortable. Soon it was our marriage day, and as per the tradition, we had planned th e w edding at my home. We didn’t invite anyone since I didn’t have any friends and Siri felt that none of her friends would understand us anyway. Somehow Siri had managed to arrange a priest who would conduct the w ed ding ceremony. The priest arrived and got busy in making the arrangements required. Both of us were helping the priest. After some time, Siri told me go an d change , and said she would also get ready for our big day. So I went into my room and started to get ready. I did my make up (I was an expert now), did a simple hair style and kept fresh jasmine flowers in my braid and then wore the saree and the jewel lery we brought. After I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror and looked beautiful. I was going to start a new chapter in my life. I was about to become a wife to someone. It was something that I ne ver imagined in my wildest dreams.

Life was filled with beautiful colours and soft clothes now, and one day I saw someone was moving in to the apartment next to mine. And since we lived in a posh apartment, none of the occupants interfered with others and all interactions would be limited to formal talks. So I barely bothered to know who my new neighbour was. After that , I never touched my boy clothes again. Since Siri also knew about my dressing I had the freedom to dress up without fearing about anyone. Since my parents were gone Siri also staye d at my house frequently and I stayed over at hers. Everything was a bliss. Of who’s purity do we speak? As I have pointed out to you before, Lord Trembath, in patriarchal societies women are mere objects to be used by men for sexual gratification and reproduction. We are treated as servants - and where is the purity in that?Then, perhaps about 5 years ago, I came upon a revelation. I clearly want to dress as a woman and do it well, but now I am not deluding myself that I will pass as a woman when in public. Perhaps in my photos I can capture this illusion, but when interacting with people in the real world, I abandon any notion of convincing people I am a woman. After all, I am not a woman and I don't want to be. Therefore, I adopted a new attitude: I want to pass with dignity. This applies whether I am wearing men's or women's clothing and in any venue, of course, but especially when dressed as a woman. I do not want to disrespect women or otherwise be a caricature of a woman. I want to feel stylish and chic and sometimes playful and contrarian. But always with dignity and respect. The competitive and prideful nature has given way, at least for the most part, to confidence and satisfaction. This is my Renaissance Period. Not a member or missed last month? Not a problem--this group is fluid -- participate when you can. Don't hesitate to ask any questions!

It is quite obvious CDs make up the most devoted advocates for the classic french maid dress. Many like to wear it while cleaning, I feel this is totally improper because that is a wasted activity for such a provocative outfit. And cleaning house can easily damage the dress. Then in 2006, I started to get my act together. I wanted to dress to pass myself off as a woman in public. Of course, venturing into public was a non-trivial affair, but when that time came I realized I had much to learn. I know I am not a woman, nor do I want to be, so pretending to look like a woman is only part of the equation. I will never think like a woman (whatever that means), understand what it means to be a woman, or even sound like a woman. For many years, this bothered me because I wanted to "pass as a woman." In addition, as I found like-minded friends online, the shame dissolved into competitive pride. This was my Amateur Period. I'm sure Ms. Westwood was not thinking of a man wearing women's wear when she made this comment, but it still applies as far as I'm concerned. That night, while having dinner, I thought my parents would confront me about the shaving of my moustache. But to my surprise, neither of them questioned about it. In a way, I was happy. But the other side of me was sad that, my parents didn’t even care to talk to their son about anything. But I had other plans running in my head already about my new found love for women clothes. Sometimes cis women wear the french maid outfit for either parties or as celebrities for promotional photoshoots or a part in a movie.I was really nervous to open the door since I really wanted to look beautiful and nice for her. I took a deep breath and opened the door. She was watching something on the television and had chang ed into a T-shirt and boy shorts, in which she looked really nice. I walked up to her and cleared my throat. She turned around, stood up and felt amazed looking at me. I asked her how I looked? And s he replied, ‘ Y ou look absolutely beautiful’. I couldn’t hide my happiness and blushed a bit, which made Siri laugh. She continued, ‘I don’t think any woman would look so beautiful as you do in this dress Umesh’.

Despite living as a man I have a desire to dress up and appear as a woman. I won’t deny I have some angst about this. I fear being discovered as a cross-dresser and I worry my actions are offensive to women. I admire women, and I truly adore them. I’m sure many people would see my actions of attempting to emulate women as a weird thing for a man today. Well, part of me is definitely transsexual. Since childhood part of me has felt more girl than boy. I never acted on this feeling though in terms of pursuing a physical gender change transition through surgery and hormones. I felt girlie but I also liked being a boy. I was attracted to feminine clothing and had strong desires to look female as a teenager. I was envious of girls when I realised I had no breasts developing, facial hair started growing and my body began to get hairy. For awhile in my early teens I was distraught. But do you not feel any responsibility - as an aristocrat and a Duchess - to act for the greater public good? You are the leading member of a movement which embraces and encourages vice of all kinds! We understand that one size does not fit all - and if you’re taller than most women, then thigh highs are the way to go. Unlike pantyhose, hold ups (which are another term for thigh highs) will not restrict your movement; they sit comfortably on your leg. At VienneMilano, our sizes range from small to 3XL. Here’s what one of our male customers has to say about our hosiery:Members can submit a photo for one, two, or all themes. At the end of the month, members will vote for their favorite photos. I think this day involved a really great, complete makeover, and I felt again like a beautiful young woman. It was maybe even my best makeover to that point. What would you think if you saw me? I have always been a very straight guy and considered this a pretty weird request, but we both had drinks earlier, so it was a little easier and I finally gave in to my wife’s suggestion. I now understand why most women love pantyhose— they felt so slippery and nice against our new sheets that I was really taken. I loved the way they felt and have slept in them ever since. Once I’ve calmed somewhat, my final touches are to slip into my high heel shoes, add some ear rings and always, always, a dab of feminine perfume. I have become Helene!