Mary: It's kind of like having a second. Like, for me two books, it was kind of like having a second baby. It's like, people are like, Oh, are you ready to think about another? It's like, I need some more time. Whether you are a parent, friend, family member, or professional who wants to learn more and understand both the internal and external challenges of raising a child with autism….Forever Boy has something for everyone!

Kate: And that's something you'll hear a lot about now is that it is the spectrum, and there's a lot of anger around the spectrum and what it is, and that's how it was described to me in the beginning. It was this line, the stark line, and it's like, you know, yeah, where you want to be and this is where you are. And I don't think it's like that. I think it's different.But the gift of acceptance was still elusive. Some days, even weeks, I would walk around thinking I had made it and then something would happen. [A relative], just four months younger, would sing me a song, and I would be leveled, blindsided by the grief that seemed to lie dormant and then resurfaced when I least expected it. What do you call a child diagnosed with Diabetes? Most say they are diabetic, otherwise, it is sooo demeaning to that individual being put a label saying I’m one with. . .

I realized in that moment it takes a strong person to have a child in special education. There are no bells and no whistles. This was his first year in kindergarten and I wanted to celebrate it, but it felt like the public education system was telling me it wasn’t going to be special. It was going to be sad and dark. But the special education families, our stuff is always during the workday. Every meeting for an individualized education program or IEP, every conference, they are always during the week at a time that is difficult for any working parent. With her popular blog, Finding Cooper's Voice , Kate Swenson has provided hope and comfort for hundreds of thousands of parents of children with Autism. Now, Kate shares her inspiring story in this powerful memoir about motherhood and unconditional love Given how closely relatable I am to Kate’s story, I found this to be very difficult to rate and review. Kate’s blog ‘Finding Coopers Voice’, and now her memoir Forever Boy is in response to her being a mother to an autistic son. When my now ten year old was two I discovered her blog and found it helpful to know that I wasn’t alone. Mary: The mom of Cash's Voice on, and I'm going to have Jess on in a few weeks. So. So it really is a great community for networking, for information and for a lot of support, which is great. So would your book Forever Boy? Is it more fiction nonfiction? Is it the same kind of writing that we expect on Finding Cooper's Voice and Coop's Troops?My team have worked tirelessly with internal and external colleagues and partners to gather and present the evidence in this case. Their collective hard work and dedication led has helped achieve justice for the young boy and his family. She turned those frustrations and frights into being a strong supportive mother who wouldn’t change a thing about her son.

Mary: Yes, yes. So I always start out with the same question. Now you are on Podcast 70, which we're going to link in the show, notes MaryBarbera.com/70. And we always start out with, describe your fall into the autism world so you can get the real detailed version in 70. But can you just for people who haven't ever heard of you? Kate Swenson, I don't know where they've been, but can you just tell us how you fell into the autism world very briefly. Mary: OK. Kate, I am so excited to have you on the show for an update for all of our listeners, so welcome. Thank you so much for your time. I know you're crazy busy at the moment.Kate: OK, I will read a little bit. One thing I wanted to say is are two things I've been asked if this is a book, if it's sad and they're going to cry the whole entire time? No, it's honestly a really hopeful book. You're going to have tears. I think you'll probably have some, but it's really hopeful. And the second thing that I've been asked is, is this only for parents of children with autism? No. I have a big following of parents whose or anybody whose life just didn't turn out as they expected, maybe something just took a turn. So please know it's really a story like that to where it's really about Plan B and how important it is. So I'm going to read from Chapter eight and I'm going to read about when I first heard about autism. Kate: Yeah, so I knew nothing about autism. Honestly, I don't even know if I'd ever heard the word got pregnant with my first son, had a very typical pregnancy. He was born on December 6th, a very cold day in Minnesota. And right away, I could tell that something was just a little bit different. I could tell that he was different from the other newborns next to him. Honestly, my friend's kids, I had been around a lot of babies and just a little bit different, a little unique, I like to say. And he was diagnosed with autism at, I think it was three months shy of age four, but he could have been diagnosed at nine months. I mean, if there was any possible person that would have done it, it would have been a lot sooner. He's now 11. He is thriving. He is happy. He's in fifth grade. He's a middle schooler next year and he has taught me so much about parenting and life and the world in general, which I think is one of the unique gifts that autism gives us. And I'm just so happy to share his story and educate the unassuming person about how this is OK and it's OK to be different, and it's OK to say hi and share our life. Kate: We do. And we have two PCAs that we love, but they're at college right now. So finding help here is one of the problems that we have. We've never really figured out the mystery of finding help and good help.

It is the inspiring story of a Mom navigating an autism diagnosis, seeking supports, inclusion and education for her child, while also navigating motherhood, marriage, relationships, personal struggle, sorrow, hope and joy. Kate: Yeah. So our family, we're our family of six, which is hectic and crazier than I ever thought it would be. I hope we can get some sense of, it sounds so silly, but we're just like up and down every day. Every day feels like a new day from the day before. We need to get some sort of consistency and schedule in our life. So that is our goal as the family. Goals for Cooper, I really want him to be able to go to restaurants, fly on an airplane and go to his brother's sports games. Those have been my goals for years and we're doing things to get us there. We're not there yet, but he is making so much progress. And then for me to get through this book launch. And I don't know what's next for me. I really don't know. Keep growing Coop's Troops. I think I just love that group. It makes me so happy. I don't know if I'll write another book. I really don't know, but I think every author says that, but I really don't. Kate: Yep, Winnie is now. She is almost 10 months old. Yeah. And she's our fourth and our only girl and such a blessing to our family. She's just a joy. He was always passionate about his latest craze, whether that be his pets, BMX, his skateboarding or more recently his passion for playing guitar, jazz music, poetry and art. But in time I learned not to let these people limit my child’s future. Professionals are here to help us and often they do. But they don’t have a crystal ball or the ability to predict a child’s future. Regardless of whether they end up being right or wrong, the one thing we can’t let them do is destroy our hope.The advice at the end was a nice bonus. She’s been through some things. Can’t think of another book on autism that mentions the literal sweat. This book was so hard and made me cry so much. But I’m glad I read it. You can’t hold your grief in forever. Sometimes that is the hardest thing. Those awful days where you feel all alone. Questioning how you will make it through. Hating that everyone calls you strong. Friends and family may fail you. Things look bleak. You feel your feelings and then you go give your kid a hug. And start all over again. Mary: And there's a lot of professionals there, too. Yeah, I know a lot of the guests that I've gotten on the podcast have been through Coops Troops and from some of your lives. And I had the IEP women on Amanda and Oh, Kirby, Amanda and Kirby on I had your daughters. Kate: OK, so I'm really bad at that. I have none. I mean, fully honest is I literally have the fourth baby changed everything. I would say if I was to have one, I would want to get out to dinner with my husband once a week, except I would need to find help and I don't have that. So I could spend more time with my husband alone without kids. And then I would love to go for a walk every day. Oh my gosh, I would love that. But I'll be honest, I don't have any right now, and it's starting to show and it's wearing on me. What did you know?