I'm scared that i will read it and realise that this is all my fault after all even though at the moment I am comofrtable that it is not, although acknowlegdge that we both had a part to play in relationship breakdown the actual affair was not my fault IYSWIM). Glass recognizes the emotional significance and potential hazard when an individual stops functioning as a responder to their mate and become a responder to a close friend.

I hope that their stories of breakdowns and breakthroughs will show you that you are not alone and encourage you in your attempt to recover from infidelity. Keely - 14 months but it took around 9-10 months between the OW appearing on the scene (she was an old friend that we had lost touch with and came back into our lives after a gap of around 6 years) and the start of the affair.The third part of the book involves finding meaning in what happened — especially identifying some of the factors that made the relationship vulnerable. There are so many books out there on this topic; the market is literally flooded with them (speaks to the amount of cheating that must go on, doesn't it?

To reestablish a marriage that is intimate and trusting after an affair, the walls and windows must be reconstructed to conform to the safety code and keep the structure of the marriage sound so that it can withstand the test of time. The various chapters in this section present information like how the affair is revealed, dealing with the immediate aftermath, and normal ambivalence. They split hairs and decide that their commitment permits them to do this but does not allow them to do that. For some people, commitment comes with a mindfulness of the need for exclusivity, about which they have no second thoughts. Shirley Glass was a clinical psychologist who was one of the top infidelity experts in the country (regretably she died of breast cancer in the fall of 2006).i'm also plagued by thoughts of sleeping with somebody else just so i can hurt him as much as he's hurt me. Since things were already rocky, as my friendship grew, my efforts to meet my husband's needs lessened.